The Darkest Hour (2011) film review.

Review: 1.5 out of 5.

Of all the highest grossing films of 2011 I have watched, the film I reviewed is definitely the lowest, at least critically. The Darkest Hour was so bad, I almost slept throughout the entire film. That is not me exaggerating, I assure you. If any of you watched Skyline, this is a lot worse. I won't go into specifics right now, but I'll go into the background detail along the way.

Released 25th December 2011, a non-Christmas Day Special guarantee, the Russian-American production was directed by Chris Gorak and produced by Timur Bekmanbetav (Wanted) and ran a tedious 89 minutes. The motion picture with its tag line "Survive the Holidays" followed two young American men, Sean (Emile Hirsch) and Ben (Max Minghella) who travel to Moscow to sell their very own software to the company, headed by a Swedish businessman. Unfortunately, their passion project has been ripped from them (cough Social Network) and were thrown out. Sean and Ben start to woo beautiful women in the company, how convenient both the women they end up with, Natalie (Olivia Thirlby) and Anne (Rachael Taylor) are also American.

Fast-forward 15 minutes later, everyone looked outside at the night sky as a sudden glow appeared just when many aurora balls of light fell down. An invasion began to ensue as invaders protected by force fields ravaged the area, vaporizing every man, woman and child who got in their way. They proceed to consume the humans electrical resources.

Good:

It was hard to note anything great about the film, what I do appreciate is the concept they were going for, which is an alien invasion from Russia's perspective and the fact these creatures are far beyond humanoid and more so another plane of existence, which is raw energy. The length of the production gone into the film was not the best and is satisfactory, but the potential, basic, premise fell very short in the actual interpretation.

Bad:

There were many things that were bad about the sci-fi that is hard to muster in one go. First of all, the script by Jon Spaihts was trite. I hardly think there was any structure at all in this film, it started off fine up until the arrival of the aliens but pacing went completely out of whack and was a drag all the way through. It was noisy, not contained and went hay-wire. Everybody went beserk including the main cast who was frighteningly 2 dimensional in personality, drive and reaction. It is like the actors who did these characters didn't even try. There is really nothing more to say here.

The film was so bad, even through the last half of the 2nd act that I couldn't watch it anymore. The direction was so apalling, by the time some of the characters teamed up with the Russian's and found a solution to their perdicament, that was it for me. If anyone saw this would damn well agree with me. It was undercooked and I grew sick of what they fed me.

Even the music was depressing, balled together with awful screams with sweet, fitting, executions. Sooner or later, you will tire of the executions and could not really invest in the characters. So much that you could hardly care if they lived or died. Most of all, I couldn't take any of the actors or director for that matter, seriously.

Overall:

The film had a descent premise, but was engrossed in trash; flat characters, lazy cast, futile script, poor direction and production that would of been great if a little more thought had gone into the movie instead of screams, overbearing slow pace and less flashing lights. Watch Kanye's music video, he'll give you tips on brightness and contrast. Don't bother watching this on 3D, your better off renting a cheap copy in your local DVD or Blu-ray store just to add to your collection. The next review will be Drake's second outing, Take Care LP.

- Written by Kbon.

Cow Boys and Aliens review.

Review: 2 out of 5.

I was going to see the premiere one day at the O2 but cancelled. My rotten luck, well let's face it, life doesn't always give you what you want. So, I conclude in one simple opinion that this movie is below mediocre. Its a show reel that has every sequence tarnished. I will be quick, Cow Boys and Aliens is written by Damon Lindelof, Alex Kurtzman, Robert Orci, Mark Fergus and Haw Ostby. The screenplay was formed by a story from the latter two writers and Steve Oedekerk. It was directed by Jon Favreau (Iron Man), the film is based on the graphic novel in 2006 created by Scott Mitchell Rosenberg (I think his last name might be Russian for "where I got my madness from"). It was published by Platinum Studios. Enough credits, I don't feel like commending anybody today. Oh well, here we go.

Good:

This 118 minute sci-fi western had a terrific start, as we go neck-deep into New Mexico, 1873. A loser found himself in the middle of nowhere, struck in the abdomen, memory loss and some futuristic bracelet on his wrist. The amnesiac (Daniel Craig) fought his way out of capture and reached a small town, Absolution. Preacher Meachem (Clancy Brown) dressed his wound. Following a confrontation with Percy Dolarhyde (Paul Dano), we learn the stranger is Jake Lonergan from Sheriff Taggart (Keith Carradine). He attempted to arrest Jake as he is a wanted man. Almost free, Jake is knocked unconscious by an unfamiliar woman named Ella Swenson (Olivia Wilde), who he met earlier in a bar.

Elsewhere, Woodrow Dolarhyde (Harrison Ford), Percy's father, arrived in Absolution to bail his son out. He also wanted Jake, who stole Woodrow's gold. Suddenly, flying saucers attack the town. Percy, the Sheriff and many civilians are taken hostage in what appeared to be space ships. Jake managed to hold them off with the bracelet that fashioned into a weapon. He fired a powerful laser beam that shot down one of the ships as the rest dispersed. The remaining survivors of the invasion; Jake, Woodrow, Ella, Doc (Sam Rockwell), Emmett Taggart (Noah Ringer) and Meacham track down the missing passenger who threatened a lot of people. The assailant is obviously not from this world and escaped onto the desert.

At this point, Jake started to collect parts of his memories about him being involved with a woman, Alice (Abigail Spencer), before they were abducted by aliens. The flick does have its strong points with Daniel Craig and Harrison Ford who fit well in the cast and the actors presumably had fun playing their roles. The story was put together nicely, but along the way it kind of fumbled itself and did not seem right. The aliens were good cave dwellers but they are not that bright in the metaphorical and literal sense. There is a flaw in their logic and motive. The performances from most of the cast was excellent, setting was exotic, steaming and class plus the visual effects and shots were okay.

Bad:

Now, the fact is I don't usually watch Westerns. I appreciate them for what they are, but it's not my taste. Usually, the reality is most run on the same old formula; if it's not Cow Boys chasing Indians, its a traditional cops and robbers anecdote. Don't get me wrong, some Westerns like Spaghetti Westerns, "The Wild Wild West", "No Country For Old Men" and "True Grit" are good but I rather go for a Western that has something different. To be fair, Cow Boys and Aliens did have potential but flopped on its own merits. I guess there is different and way up in the stars. It had no structure and lacked a voice. You can see the style of what devices are used and how it is told. Flashbacks and flash-forwards are very much Lindelof's style plus the swagger and dramatic tension is largely Kurtzman and Orci's.

Although the actors performed well in the respective characters, one of them, Ella played by Wilde I had trouble with. The big reveal in her role was too predictable and her characterization made her seem very solitary, which ain't too bad, however it is flat. There wasn't much Wilde could do since its how she was being written. Her figure was stunning and she did as best as she could at the least, but some more interaction with the other characters may be noted. Sequences with the aliens themselves were cool, but there wasn't much depth in their grand plan and their object of pursuit weren't explained very well. I won't give out too much but let's just say it didn't sink in too deep and was not clear. This is sad because the conflict between the aliens and humans faced is quite interesting, creepy and did shake me up a little bit (jokes).

One next factor is it had drama but poor on the action, I'm not expecting a lot of shooting, wide explosions, fisty-cuffs and death rays "The Expendables" style but the middle section did not have much tension. Most carried out was coming up with an initiative to defeat the aliens rather than a hint of challenges. It couldn't hurt with some humour either, its difficult to relate to something as outlandish as this. I mean Firefly had some quirks and it was successful, why? Because it had a brilliant cast, slick, multicultural, storyline, it also balanced action, tension and humour. The dialogue on that show had wit and even one of the captain's held a gun. Not to say this movie didn't have guns, but they knew how to use it. A friend told me Westerns are known for their focus on landscapes and panoramic shots. That is true, but without dilemma or favorable characters, it would be dull.

Overall:

Smooth direction, wonderful cast, superb premise but a patchy script and huge downplay on action. It had poor characterization from Ella who did fine as some female stranger but did not have much edge or affection to land her in the same league of Craig or Ford's character. Same can be said for the aliens, their purpose for their invasion was sketchy and the reason is stupid and made no sense. Its plot was extremely straight and narrow, their twists and turns weren't felt at all and can be guessed. Though its ending was crisp and sweet. Visuals, shots plus edits were pretty satisfactory, but continuity weren't kept up and lost integrity. The only time I'll watch this again is if I join the cast of a sequel for Attack the Block.

- Written by Kbon

Predators (2010) film review

Review: 2.5 out of 5.

Thank you to all who read here,

I came from my long while of watching films to review the 2010 film, which I had a fair share of little expectations for. After watching the laughing stock that was A-Team based on the famous big television series and the even more expendable mercenaries in a B-movie known as The Expendables, I had decided to review Predators. This Sci-Fi film is a remake of the Predator franchise. So, forget Alien vs Predator (2004) and Alien vs Predator: Requiem (2007). Pretend they never happened, that is exactly what I was told by one of my friends when I was just about to buy tickets at the box office. Those crossovers stink anyway, nothing compared to the first two original films Predator (1987) and Predator 2 (1990). Let's get down to it.

As per usual, I will break this down into three categories. Those of you who read my past reviews know this, as for those who don't know, they are the "Good", the "Bad" and the "Overall". No, I didn't make a Clint Eastwood reference. Man, you people always spot these Easter Eggs a lot, just kidding. Anyway, Predators (not Predator, notice the "s") is directed by Nimrod Antal and is produced by Robert Rodriguez, the master behind the Spy Kids series and most recently Sin City and Grindhouse with Quentin Tarantino. It was distributed by 20th Century Fox and is 107 minutes long, a bit of a drag than it needed to be. What is quite interesting is the fact that Rodriguez penned an early draft of a script for Predators more than a decade ago in 1994 before Fox invested with this. In a way, I'm kind of glad they picked the right time to show it. On with the review, I'll get to my bench mark later.

Predators had the Lost feel to it, but that does not necessarily do much for the ratings. When you are shown on the screen in the opening scene, you first meet Royce (Adrien Brody) who literally falls from the sky from only God knows where into a jungle reminiscent to an Amazon. Royce meets up with several other people who have landed in the jungle and turn out to be either hired soldiers of fortune or convicts execpt a doctor. The party includes Cuchillo; a drug lord (Danny Trejo), Nikolai; a Russian soldier (Oleg Taktarov), Isabelle; a sniper from Israel (Alice Braga), Mombasa; RUF officer (Mahershalalhashbaz Ali), the skilled Yakuza member; Hanzo, (Louis Ozawa Changchien) death row inmate; Stans (Walton Goggins) and finally the doctor I was talking about, Edwin (Topher Grace). In a space of 15 minutes during the film, it becomes obvious the group is not on the planet they think they are on.

Good:

Before I get to the good bits, let me say that this movie does bring a sense of intrigue. I admit that I was surprised by the level of gore in this film since this is a certificate 15, but that does not really do much for me. There were some little good parts in it that kept me watching like the surprising appearance of our guest actor Laurence Fishburne, but even he did not do well to save this feature in being average. There were some crispy clean visuals as I would expect in a science fiction film of this day and age plus some very snappy dialogue. The Predators themselves were just how I knew of them with their gnawing split mouths and Rasta dreadlocks hidden away by their space helmet/masks. Yes, as ugly as ever. I thank everyone in the costume department for their handiwork. Another great part is the film maker's new take on the extraterrestrial hunting machines, an existence of a new specie of Predator dubbed Super Predators who are larger, more bloodthirsty and do not share that honour the original does. Among other creatures, I will talk about later, there is a feud between those large Predators and the classic ones. I do appreciate the sword fight between Hanzo and one of the Super Predators, but that is really it and was more for entertainment.

Bad:

Predators serves as only a half point between the box office failure and splendor masterpiece of Hollywood films, meaning don't bother waste your time going cinemas just rent it in your local DVD or Blu-ray market. I made a painful and reckless mistake watching this. Nevertheless, I didn't really complain, I mean I had cheap and tasty popcorn. The sweet kind, done just right. The acting was mediocre at best, although, I couldn't believe the factor of Fishburne's rendition of a crazed militant could be so bad. In my mind I was thinking along the lines of "Is he for real?!" but as I placed more popcorn in my mouth I just was shocked at the idea. Fishburne you can do better, man. I will ignore the fact that producers killed off a black man in the most terrible fashion they can think of. The irony is Mombasa (Ali) is not the first but the second target after another non-Caucasian man (Trejo). After more senseless humans getting picked off, a lame plot twist involving the doctor and some brawl with monsters I now come to my final conclusion. My rating fits the picture of another great concept gone to waste.

Overall:

The script is weak in certain places, but it beats A-Team with leaps and bounds. Though it still does not do enough to really pick me apart with their awesome plasma guns, in fact it does not even come close. The acting was okay but Fishburne felt like an extra. Good direction, but poor execution, visuals are standard blockbuster imagery and so is the sound, which sets the creepy air but it takes all of the thrills away and can get boring quite easily. They did a number on the effects budget and relied on references from previous films to catch on. My suggestion is just buy it on DVD and just wait till the ticket sales end. I got another review for you coming in a few weeks and it is [Prototype] the game, which means I have to grab my PS3 pad and start breezing through all the levels. Peace out, fans.

- Written by Kbon